It's been awhile since my last post, as I've been cranky and busy. This leaves little time for diatribes on what infuriates me in Columbia. Additionally, being busy for me means I don't get to spend much time in Columbia interacting with the things that plague me, and this town. This is both good and bad, on one side I don't have to deal with the silliness of the Kinkos that can't figure out how to make cards, the Zombieness of Creig, or even the extreme lack of decent food and shopping in the area. That would be the good. On the other side it means I don't get to be creative and poke fun at all the things that make me cranky. So, since I have a few minutes this evening, and there are a number of new places to attack, I'm gonna poke fun at Columbia...again.
The new Columbia Gateway Overlook shopping center is definitely the easiest new thing at which to sling mud. This mega shopping center brings all the things that should have been here 10 years ago. It includes such simple things as a Trader Joes, a Costco, a Houlihans, an On the Border, some crappy (possibly French) cafe thing that is out of place, a Lowes (maybe now HomeDepot will stop sucking), something called 5 Below (seems like the dollar store + 4), and a right wingding Christian book store (also out of place). The funniest thing about it is I can't believe it took so long for these retailers to realize that there is no competition in Columbia.
Here are some simple examples of no competition in Columbia
Mexican food: Don Pablos, the most awful Mexican food possible. Taco bell and this place go round for round on who can give you the most gas. (Mar y Tiera in King's Contrivance was good for about three weeks, before even these hard-working restaurateurs realized where they were and stopped trying.)
American Food: TGI Fridays, and some assorted other low-brow eateries. The last time some thing came out that kitchen sizzling, Nixon was president.
Home Improvement: HomeDepot (HomeDespot), if you find an employee at this location that has actually built something, explain to them that Lowes is now open and they should be with their own kind.
Electronics and other such stuff: Best Buy and CompUseless, where the F*ck is my Fry's or Circuit City.
Groceries: Safeway and Giant, they are in every village center and they all blow. I challenge you to find 2% low-fat organic yogurt at these stores.
Hopefully, now that Trader Joes, On the Border, Houlihans, Costco, and Lowes are on the scene things will begin to suck less. Additionally, I hope someone who owns a Fry's, Circuit City, Rio Grande, Ruth Chris, Whole Foods, Wild Oats, or just about anything that doesn't suck reads my blog. If you do please come to Columbia, we have people and money, and no good stuff, I swear.
But I digress, the real point of this entry was to discuss the fact that "On the Border", "Houlihans", and Trader Joes are now open. For the next two or three weeks all these stores will be in top form. The reason for this, is that the best of the best waitresses, chefs, and bag boys/girls from all the other locations are on site training the real staff. So quickly, while it's good, get the waitress from Arkansas ( not kidding ) at On the Border to make your guacamole in front of you, before the guy from Kinkos who can't work the copier tries to do it.
Hopefully I'm wrong about this possibility of a bleak future. Hopefully, this is the turning over of a new leaf in Columbia. But I won't be holding my breath.
Before I close out this entry tonight, I want to state one more thing. For all those old timers in Columbia that are Cranky about Columbia OverLook and like to call it Box Store Hill and complain about how it looks, and about big stores killing local merchants, I have one thing to say: "Go die in a fire". The local merchants left years ago, there is no good food, and if it wasn't for the Internet I wouldn't have had anywhere to spend my money for the past 3 years. Oh that reminds me, Comcast eat a bag, I've got FIOS now.
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7 comments:
Good Mexican - Zapata's in Harper's Choice village center, El Azteca in Clarksville
Other cheap organics - MOM's at Rt. 1 & 175. Not so cheap organics at David's (Wilde Lake) and Roots (Clarksville).
Clyde's is good for American fare, but pricier than Friday's/Ruby Tuesday/Houlihan's.
MOM's is nice, and Roots is cheaper than David's and the workers are a million times more competent.
A fantastic hardware store is Kendall's, also in Clarksville and near Roots. Home Depot and Lowe's had no idea how I could get what I needed, but Kendall's offered a workable solution and even offered to cut things for me.
I can't say I agree with you on Don Pablo's, but maybe that's because I love their margaritas and am most likely drunk when I eat there.
The Mexican place up by the old Palace 9 is pretty good. I keenly feel the lack of middle eastern fare but we do have a good afghan option (for carry-out, anyhow) in Harpers Choice.
Organic, schmorganic. Cheap and fresh produce and meat are at the Lotte Plaza up on Rt. 40. Yeah, I know it's not Columbia, but neither is River Hill.
Greystone Grill off Columbia 100 Parkway is good, albeit more expensive than corporate death food.
I agree, Mom's is awesome. As is Frank's Seafood Market off 175. Now that we have Trader Joe's I feel like the options are getting a lot better!
For dinosaur mom's comments regarding Lotte Plaza: cheap and fresh if you don't mind occasional closing by the health deparment. Oh, this is supposed to be frozen?
Look, there goes a mouse!
Lotte Plaza - if you don't mind occasional closing by the health department. Oh! This is supposed to be frozen? Look! There goes a mouse!
I just want to second the recommendations of Zapata's and El Azteca. Having just moved back here from San Diego, I am thrilled to have serious Mexican restaurants in Columbia.
I've only eaten at On the Border once, but I never felt any reason to go back.
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